negativity

 The Lingering Shadow: Why Do We Seem Less Forgiving and More Hating Since COVID?

It's a feeling many of us have quietly observed, or perhaps even experienced ourselves. A shorter fuse, a quicker judgment, an underlying current of irritability that seems to ripple through our interactions. We scroll through comment sections and wince at the vitriol; we watch news reports and see divisions deepen; we feel a subtle but persistent shift in the collective mood. It begs the question: are we, as humans, really less forgiving and more prone to anger and hatred since the COVID-19 pandemic?

While it’s a complex phenomenon with no single answer, there are several compelling reasons why the shared trauma and disruption of the past few years have left an indelible mark on our collective patience, empathy, and capacity for grace.

1. The Weight of Collective Trauma and Unprocessed Grief

Think of what we collectively endured: the fear of an invisible enemy, the loss of loved ones (often without traditional goodbyes), job insecurity, the complete uprooting of daily routines, the constant stream of dire news. This wasn't just individual stress; it was a mass, prolonged traumatic event.

When we experience trauma, our nervous systems go into overdrive. If that trauma isn't adequately processed – and for many, it hasn't been – it can manifest as chronic anxiety, irritability, and a heightened sense of threat. We might be quicker to lash out because our emotional well-being is constantly on high alert, even unconsciously. Unprocessed grief, too, can morph into anger or resentment, projecting inward or outward.

2. Exhaustion and Burnout (Emotional Depletion)

We've been running on empty for a long time. The initial adrenaline of the pandemic gave way to a grinding, sustained period of stress. Many are still dealing with the long-term effects of financial strain, health anxieties, caregiving burdens, and a general sense of fatigue.

When we are mentally and emotionally exhausted, our capacity for empathy, patience, and forgiveness plummets. Our emotional "reserves" are depleted, leaving little room for understanding or extending grace. Small inconveniences become monumental frustrations, and minor disagreements can quickly escalate into heated conflicts simply because our coping mechanisms are worn thin.

3. The Erosion of Trust and Rise of Polarization

The pandemic became a crucible for existing societal divisions. Differing opinions on masks, vaccines, lockdowns, and economic recovery fractured communities and families. Trust in institutions – governments, health organizations, media – was often challenged or eroded.

This environment created fertile ground for "us vs. them" narratives. When we perceive others as being on the "opposite side" of a critical issue, it becomes incredibly difficult to forgive or even understand their perspective. Echo chambers intensified on social media, reinforcing existing beliefs and demonizing opposing viewpoints, making genuine dialogue and the possibility of reconciliation seem almost impossible.

4. Lost Social Skills and Increased Isolation

For months, many of us lived in varying degrees of isolation. Our "social muscles" atrophied. We became accustomed to remote interactions, where nuance is often lost and direct confrontation is avoided. Re-entering a fully social world has been challenging for many, leading to social anxiety, awkwardness, and a decreased tolerance for the messiness of human interaction.

When we're out of practice with in-person communication and conflict resolution, misunderstandings can quickly arise, and our default reaction might be defensiveness rather than a willingness to understand or forgive.

5. Economic Stress and Uncertainty

Inflation, supply chain issues, and job market fluctuations have added another layer of pervasive anxiety. When people feel economically insecure, their sense of safety and well-being is directly threatened. This kind of stress can make people more protective, less generous, and quicker to anger as they grapple with the practical realities of survival. The frustration over rising costs or job insecurity often has no clear target, so it leeches into other interactions, making patience a luxury few can afford.

Finding Our Way Back: A Path Towards Healing

Acknowledging these underlying reasons isn't an excuse for hatred, but an important first step towards understanding and healing. So, what can we do?

Acknowledge the Pain: Recognize that you (and everyone else) have been through a lot. Name the fear, grief, or frustration you might be feeling.

Practice Self-Compassion: Be kind to yourself. You don't have to be "over it" just because the headlines have moved on. Rest, seek balance, and rebuild your emotional reserves.

Re-engage Thoughtfully: Don't force social interaction beyond your comfort level. Start small, focusing on positive, low-stress connections.

Seek Common Ground: Consciously look for shared values and humanity, even with those you disagree with. Listen with an intent to understand, not just to respond.

Limit Exposure to Negativity: Be mindful of your news consumption and social media feeds. Protect your mental space from constant exposure to outrage and division.

Prioritize Well-being: Sleep, exercise, time in nature, healthy eating – these aren't luxuries; they're essential for regulating our nervous systems and building resilience.

Extend Grace (to Others and Yourself): Understand that everyone is carrying their own invisible burdens. A moment of impatience or anger from someone else might be a symptom of their own exhaustion. And when you slip up, offer yourself the same understanding.

The pandemic didn't fundamentally change human nature, but it did expose and exacerbate our vulnerabilities. We are not defined by our exhaustion or our recent struggles. By recognizing the roots of this collective irritability, we can begin the intentional work of rebuilding our capacity for empathy, understanding, and ultimately, a more forgiving and compassionate world. It won't happen overnight, but it starts with each of us, one moment of grace at a time.